Entitled mother demands birthday present from son despite financial struggles due to newborn baby: 'I'll forget about your birthday this year then'

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jan 9, 2025 9:00 PM EST

Welcome, tea-sippin' sisters. Love languages are typically associated with romantic relationships. A person whose preferred love language is quality time, might crave fancy date nights with their partner. However, the concept also applies to familial and platonic relationships. The very same quality time-loving individual might prefer going out with their friends on their birthday over receiving gifts from them and may make a bigger effort to attend family get-togethers than to make sure that they send holiday greetings to all of their relatives. 

While it is important to communicate your love language to the people in your life to help them make you feel fully appreciated, it is sometimes impossible for everyone to cater to your specific preferences. Family members who live far away cannot always come visit even if you prefer quality time, and friends with sensory issues might not always be down for a hug despite your love of physical touch. In our story today, our protagonist cannot afford a birthday present for his gift-loving mother. Instead of being understanding of his situation, she throws a full-fledged adult tantrum. Get all the details down below.

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  • 01

    AITAH for not buying my entitled mother a birthday gift after just having a baby with my fiancée?

    "My mother's birthday is the first week of January, and she asked for a gift. I had politely stated I can't afford to get her a gift, and if I do, it will be late. I was respectful in hope that she'd be understanding. I was wrong."
    via Kaboompics.com from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • 02
    My Fiancée (f25) and I (m25) just had a baby 12/16. We are both on parental leave and money is tight we have bills, we just had Christmas, and we have a 3 week old baby.
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    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • 04
    Now heres the situation, My mother's birthday is the first week of January and she has asked for a gift. I had politely stated I can't afford to get her a gift this year and if I do it will be late. I was respectful in hopes she'd be understanding. I was wrong. Her response was along the lines of 'I'll forget about your birthday this year then! Which is fine, I don't
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  • 05
    care about my birthday. This was the icing on the cake. I told her I couldn't get her a gift and I didn't care if she forgot my birthday. In response to that my mom started blaming my fiancée for me not getting her a gift and calling this whole conversation ab e. Basically insinuating that we are neglecting her or outcasting her.
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    via 89Stocker

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • He was still willing to get his mom a belated birthday gift after he recovered from the financial blow of Christmas and a newborn, but she threw a tantrum anyway. She's also so materialistic that she truly believed that “retaliating” by not getting her son a birthday gift would somehow hurt his feelings or sway him into magically conjuring extra money for a present. Instead, it emphasized how vapid she is and where her priorities lie.

  • 07
    For more background ever since my fiancée got pregnant back in April 2024 my mom has tried to make the whole experience about her. She got mad when my Fiancée didn't take her to appointments with her. She got mad when I found out the gender intimately with my fiancée. She was upset with the
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  • 08
    last name we gave our son and made side comments about how my fiancées mom was allowed in the delivery room and not her. Not to mention all the side comments saying my fiancée is ab or is paranoid. I have defended my fiancée through it all but it is getting ridiculous. Essentially AITA at all against my mom? 3,009 ☐ 373 D R
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  • It seems like she is terrified of being overshadowed by her daughter-in-law and the baby. Instead of making herself helpful or being supportive, she is aggressively inserting herself into the relationship, which will ultimately only end in her being pushed away.

  • 09
    Plastic_Cat9560 Oh, where to start? I swear we have the sarne mother. She is emotionally ab sing both you and your fiancée. Perhaps go NC for a while. You are a new dad and need to focus on your new family unit. Let the dust settle and perhaps have a convo alone with your mother. Set boundaries or this negative energy will eat you alive. This whole gift bs on her part is entitled, juvenile, and ridiculous. NTA btw.
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  • 10
    CautiousHouse8265 Every single time I try and talk to her she just doesn't listen and blames me and it's just a rinse and repeat cycle.
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  • 11
    nolaz There need to be consequences. "Mom, you're being insulting. I'm hanging up now. We can talk again in a week if you think you can manage to have a conversation without bashing fiancé."
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  • 12
    Confident-Broccoli42 You're not required to speak with her if she can't be reasonable. Protect your mental health and take a long break. Block her for awhile if necessary I'd insist on an apology and appropriate boundaries if she wants to be included in your life. She'll refuse and it will be her loss
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  • 13
    Critical_Armadillo32 100%. Your mother is a real piece of work. I agree. Go no contact with her for a little while. Tell her her birthday isn't nearly as important as your baby is to you. Tell her to grow up. Tell her she's not 10 years old and doesn't have to have a birthday present every year! And her criticism of your fiance' should be cut off immediately.
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  • 14
    No-Holiday1692 NTA at all and it sounds like your mother is working her way towards being low or no contact, which is a shame considering she has a grand baby. I know that some people love their birthdays, and some people just don't care about their birthdays. Whatever your thought is on birthdays, you should not cause financial distress for your loved ones to celebrate yourself.
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  • 15
    Your mother sounds extremely immature and controlling to be honest. Perhaps she's having issues struggling with the idea of "sharing" you with your fiancé and now your child, but that's her problem not yours.
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  • 16
    You have created a family with someone. As the woman who has had my father-in-law try to buy my husband with a lot of these same issues, please support your fiancé. I'm thankful that my husband always has, but often times we see adult sons who back down to the pressure of their overbearing mothers or fathers at the detriment of the relationship with their partner and children. I feel like you are trying your hardest not to let that happen.
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  • 17
    I would set some clear boundaries that you will no longer tolerate the snide comments and the flat out insults of the mother of your child. I would emphasize the fact that while she's your mom and you'll always love her, the family YOU have created. comes first and first means there is no room for the hostility she's trying to create. That means no snarky little comments, no calling her a b, none of it. And I'd make it clear that you will enforce those boundaries if she refuses to comply.
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  • 18
    She may have given birth to you but that does NOT mean that she dominates you for the rest of your life. Good luck to you and congrats on the baby.
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  • 19
    NithranielSylvan NTA and I'm sorry, but why are you still in contact with this lady? She sounds exhausting. Set clear boundaries right now and go low contact before she starts trashtalking your fiancée about how she takes care of your baby on her face. You and your fiancée are saints for putting up with her bullcrap this long.
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  • 20
    LilyGoldenlark NTA. Your mom sounds like she's trying to compete in the 'main character Olympics,' but she's missing the memo that your baby takes gold. You're prioritizing your new family, which is exactly what you should be doing. Gifts aren't a requirement, especially when you've got diapers to buy and sleep to catch up on.
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  • 21
    CautiousHouse8265 THIS! thank you! Diapers ain't cheap and sleep is something we both need. Thank you! My baby will always take gold.
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  • 22
    cindy3003 Nta but time to set up some rules. Your mom is treating the mother of your child horribly and your child will see it. You need to set some boundaries right away.
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  • 23
    Fearless_Ad1685 NTA but it's time to cut your mother off. Go Low Contact. On the rare times you are in contact with her, anytime she starts something, hang up or leave. Your family is now your fiance and child. They deserve better than your mother.
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    Cheezburger Image 10451974656
    via Tatiana Maksimova

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • 25
    30 Helenssayfuckoff I'm astounded every time I hear about a parent demanding gifts from a grown child. It's so far from my experience; my parents never expect a gift, so when I'm able to send one, it's a happy bonus for them.
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  • 26
    To me, a parent insisting on a birthday gift is kind of like a landlord demanding fealty from a serf, maybe because these are the parents who tend to think their kids owe them a debt for raising them. You don't. None of us do. We didn't ask to be born; we're a responsibility they accepted.
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  • 27
    NTA and I hope you block her, at least for awhile. I'd bet money you'll feel a LOT more peaceful and less anxious without her.
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entitled parents jealous married with children mother adulting wife reddit story relationships parenting husband couples love entitled reddit thread newborn Reddit
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